God made the stars.

I've been struggling for the past few weeks.

I've traveled distances, amidst horizontal and vertical rains (yep, and by that i really meant rain that came from left and right...the sky's gettin' crankier!) as if really aiming to get me wet, landslides in action, rockslides, people talking and laughing while i scratch my head (puzzled with what they're all talking about in their local dialect), eating dinner at 10 to 11 o'clock in the evening, getting butt sores from lengthy travelling, extending the lengthy travelling for 3 more hours because of traffic jams, going home with mom's whip ready to beat me off (kidding)...and i just can't thank God enough for giving me the opportunity to experience them all.

lately, i've been feeling all softy and fragile because everything's been a blur. i believe everything's alright and i thank God nothing's too wrong for me to not be able to handle, BUT...alright is never alright. It's like i've been doing everything but i can't see the road. the only thing that kept my feet on the road was the idea of having a great and much-deserved ooh-lala. i'm actually fighting with my tear ducts right now.

But, even at these tough times in my life, i just couldn't bare the thought of giving up. It's actually funny because for the past few weeks, where i've been struggling to reach my goals which are definitely beyond 'alright', as if i'm at the right place at the right time, i keep hearing/seeing things that just keeps me from letting it all go.

Like, a few minutes ago, i was about to just let it all be because the week's about to end already and we haven't even figured out what to do or where to re-plan everything... i was about to just give up and let things happen as if fate would control my life.

besides, i felt like i've been fighting all these weeks and i couldn't even get too close, nor figure out how to get there. i just did what i felt i had to do, went extra miles, swallowed everything up and still, i just can't get to it.

until i clicked on my twitter tab and the first tweet i saw was this:

and i know, some of you might say that it was just plain coincidence or i was just giving meaning to everything BUT, since i watched the video 'The Secret', i realized that everything really does happen for a reason. Like, during a recent company sizzle in Makati, conducted at AIM (Asian Institute of Management, Paseo De Roxas, Makati City), everyone who shared their stories talked about their struggles before they got to where they are today. The event was just too inspiring for me.

"The enemy fights the hardest when you're closest to your goals." -Ms. Tasha Rodriguez 

This line struck me the most. And i mean, really struck me. I remember beaming with so much hope when i heard this from her. I felt like i was really meant to be here, like everyone was meant to be here... and i was right where i was supposed to be. And God has everything to do with it.

The next day, we went to a Perspective training and i was like, THIS. O.O literally. Every word spoke to me, like i was schizophrenic or something.

HAHA kidding.

but really, i realized that I'm on the right track.

We've been told about our limitations all too often that we've forgotten the possibilities. We've been told that if something was meant for us, it shouldn't hurt when we're trying to pursue it. But, if every wound we get was a sign that it wasn't meant for us, then, we shouldn't have learned how to ride a bike (uh...okay. so what if i don't know how to ride the bike.) nor, to walk (perfect for my case). Life is full of spikes and needles that'll hurt us, but if we never knew discomfort, we'll never know what comfort is. without them, we'll never appreciate how long we've come so far in life. they serve as markers of where we've been. and they bring the kind of scars we'll never even dare to cover, because we show them off- that's how we roll and boast.

there was actually this video that our coach, Sir Louie Garcia, let us watch. It was about a team who, for the first time ever in their school's history, reached the championship for a local football league. they knew in their hearts that they could never win against the 'never-beaten-champion-team-for-a-long-time' until their coach spoke to them. anyway, here's the vid na lang. too much blah. haha

there were other video clips he showed us but this one, oh yeah, this one really crushed my heart like a grape. i died watching this video. i was fighting off my tears because somehow, my struggles felt the same way. Like everyone's either laughing at me or shouting 'is that all you've got' to me.

and i was right there at the back row, wiping my eyes...while saying the S word for a million times.

After watching the clip, some probably yapped for minutes, the others might've jotted a few words and the rest, including me, probably gathered up the pieces of their shattered grapes, er, hearts and vowed to themselves that THIS, yes, THIS is it.

Tomorrow's actually the make or break point of this week's work-athon. And nope, it never ends here. It just marks another week, and yet, another goal's fate to be sealed. And i know i need to sleep but when i close my eyes,  i tear up and start thinking about a lot of what if's. (and now, im actually crying. HAHAHA i'm such a baby) Everything's been a blur, but the ending has always been something i've been picturing in my head for a very long time. And it makes me push myself some more, a little bit more. God works in wonders, they say. God move's mountains, they also say.

Well, i say... God made the stars...and that's all i needed to know.

*wiping whatever there is to wipe now. haha what the shizzles!