because i needed to see God (and something Retro)

Life is not perfect. I've told myself that a thousand times. Apparently.

So i decided that i really needed to talk to God. Well, i do talk to Him... wherever i am: home, beach, shower, comfort...zone/room, bed..etc. But this time, i needed something really, really special so i guess it's worth the extra mile. It's not the usual make-my-crush-like-me-too kind of thing- it's the kind of prayer that fills whatever's empty in my soul (and for the first time, it's that deep), the kind that screams even without sound. 

Since lent has always been a big part of my life, i took it as an opportunity to think things over and go back to where I could find Him, so i could finally ask a lot of things about my struggles, rejections even from the people i never expected to even have the nerve to reject me and doubts about myself and what i'd really want to have in my life. It's hard for me to understand a lot of things that i really should be getting into. I kind of figured that i have trouble figuring out what i really want to do--- because honestly, i've been having a hard time deciding on what i should talk about in this blog. (haha, 2 weeks now...)

They say that no matter how hard something is, if you're really determined to do it, nothing else should matter but the fact that you will get to it.

And so, i kept telling that to myself. I think it's true when people say they have to get away to really know themselves. I'm wondering if i could do it alone. But for now, i did my get-away with my family (though one sib was missing) and well, i had a blast. It was like looking for my niche- which is located anywhere but where i usually am. (:

this calls for a ROAD TRIP. *grin right there*

Basilica in Agoo, La Union

a very interesting reminder. 

Balaoan, La Union

for my future home, i want a part of my home to have this floor design!  so old and lovely.

FACT: All of the churches we visited had popcorn stands. i wonder why.

stuff being sold.

Bangar, La Union

Bantay, Ilocos Sur (that very big lego house)

Bell Tower @Bantay, Ilocos Sur

San Fabian, Pangasinan (cleanest place we visited)

Candon, Ilocos Sur

San Fernando, La Union

San Juan, La Union

Vigan, Ilocos Sur

I've already mentioned here how much i love retro/old/ancient places and stuff like EVER! So visiting the north, even when I never mentioned it to my folks was AHMAZING. Like we had the same brain waves or something. q: Thing is, every time i step inside a heritage-ish place, i forget everything else... which is why i get away from my company and find a way to mingle with history. BUT hey, I wasn't a fan of memorizing history. I just like the artifacts and the good ol' stuff. Life then was simpler...

but then again, I tried to imagine if i were an existing person in the past. It's kind of hilarious and scary at the same time. With all the things I wanted to do, i would've been bludgeoned by historic people. AND that's probably an understatement.

I have this thing for lighted candles... so bright. (:

I couldn't resist buying one of these! Bayong galore!

Everything's just too old and retro. I'm in love.

vigan longganiza all over the place. Saving 'em all for EASTERRRR!

 VERDICT:

I saw God. And i tried to talk to Him.

I prayed for 3 things. And right now, they're the deepest, darkest desire in my heart. When I told Him that, I actually felt like nothing else mattered but these. It's just weird that while i prayed and asked my questions, i kept on laughing at myself... even to the point that I was contradicting myself, convincing that whatever it is that I'm crying over is the very reason I have to do this.

it was downright weird.

But the point is, i guess I'll just have to wait... patiently... for every struggle to uncover itself. And now that I think about it, I think I've finally figured out what i really want to be.

Life is not perfect. And it's probably the best thing ever in a person's life.

And i can't thank God enough I lived in this era.

*You're probably wondering what point here is... now that I didn't even mention what i really want in my life. randomn-er,est thoughts ever. Can i just admit to myself that I just needed to post 'em pictures?

anyway, HAPPY EASTER! (: